Flying coach..

SUCKS ASS! no really it truly does! I swear when I would fly back and forth from school at FSU the planes were um, BIGGER! and there was not this evil 50 pound limit for suitcases! It’s absolutely ABSURD to think that I, a woman, can manage to pack just ONE bag and then you want me to have it weigh less than 50 pounds! Then, if it is over, you look at me crazily and sugest that I somehow take something out of already jam packed suitcase full of clothes and shoes and cosmetics for 5 days travel! ARE YOU INSANE AIRLINES!!!!!!!

When I flew out of Dulles to go to Atlanta this past weekend, I knew my bag was over 50 pounds, how could it NOT be! I am trying to learn to travel and pack only one bag…blah! Anyways! so he weighed the bag, it came in at 54.5 pounds. He just looked at me and smiled and put my bag on the belt. SEE no hassle there! I love him for it. Then on my way home yesterday from Atlanta, they take my bag, put it on the scale, and it is 55 pounds! now how my bag gained 1/2 a pound, I will never know, but WHO CARES! this IDIOT IMBICILE! looks at me and in his damn southern drawl is like “uh, your bag is too heavy” I said by how much. He says “look at the scale!” (um, ok UGMO! so sorry you did not have a fun and wild New Year’s Eve and you hung out all night with your stinky pitbull named chuck! grrr) So I said,”yeah it’s 55 pounds” he’s all ” it’s over the limit” I’m like “so what, put it on the belt, they did in Dulles” he says ” I can’t do that” I tell him I hate him! Then I take out some stuff, UGH! and don’t you know that when I weighed the bag again it was at 49 pounds…I have a heavy cosmetics/toiletries case haha! So then I had to check that by itself! I said a little prayer that they would both make it and proceeded to the HEINOUS security line! Ugh!

Anyways, point of this entry is to tell you about the ASS I had to sit next to on my way down to “Hotlanta, Hotlanta!”…I will explain!

So I’m sitting in my coveted window seat, ipod on, Vogue open, I notice noone has sat next to me yet, I got so happy b/c maybe I can have the seat to myself, the plane wasn’t even fully booked so I thought I was golden! Just as I reached down to grab my mango smoothie, this BIG LUMP of a man sat, well PLUNKED/PLOPPED himself in the seat next to me! AH! I was mad! His gut was spilling over the damn arm rest! dammit! AND this was no short fat man, but a rather tall and large fat man! Now, i’m thinking to myself…why not upgrade to business class BIG MAN! it’s ONLY $40!!! So the whole plane ride, this man is fidgeting in his damn seat, his elbow is all up in my area and i was as close to the window as i could get! I tried to get far away as possible! Every centimeter I got, he quickly filled it with his lumpness! I WAS SO MAD! then when we landed, this BIG BURLY man opened his mouth and SHIT, yes SHIT came out! That was the WORST breath i have ever inhaled! I was so stunned I started coughing uncontrollably! It was rotten shit! OMG! So anyways, in between gasps for clean air, this man is laughing on the phone talking about I’m in “Hotlanta, Hotlanta!” he kept saying that as if the saying had just came to fruition that same day! OMG! and you KNOW he waited till the WHOLE damn plane got let off before his FAT ASS got out the seat! OMG at this point I just shoved past him, shot him one of my classic killer looks and stormed off of the plane!

Needless to say, if I have that extra $40 when I fly Airtran, I’m going to be UPGRADING!!

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One Response to “Flying coach..”

  1. fashionkitty Says:

    I would have paid money to see you flip out like that! I miss those classic moments.

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