Partying in NoVa…

Is not feasible. Not for my sexy. LOL! Anywho I went out to this local spot last night just to check it out. Mine eyes have never seen such foolywang in one place all at one time! It was like a whole rack of babies moms who haven’t been out of the house since Sisqo’s Thong Song! And the men! They had THE hungriest looks in their beady little eyes! And were all on the dance floor, snappin and dancin like there was no tomorrow! I had never seen such! It bothers me a great deal when I see grown ass men dancing too much…It’s weird.

So before I even get to see all of that, I am greeted at the door by a gentleman who places a ‘VIP’ wristband on me and my girl. We are then given a *dying* rose and escorted *crying* into the VIP urea and given coplimentary champagne that was served in those small ass plastic chapagne things. Once inside this area, there are many things to take in. The tables are all decorated with balloons and flair. Cute. But, what’s that in the corner? Oh, that is a late night buffet set up that all the hungry misses are tearing up *going to the gym today and running for an hour* Also inside this area are outfits and clothing items I did not know even still existed. I witnessed a sheer, printed PONCHO! Where is that from? She must have gone digging through the clearance bin at Rave or something. I also blame Tyra for belting up every damn thing she owns because now alllllllll bithces just throw a belt over anything! A plain ass t-shirt does NOT get a belt! I also took notice that most every female in that piece had a damn snatch back! um, just because you have never been out the house and you have 30 kids, doesn’t mean you can just snatch your hair back into a raggedy ass ponytail and keep it moving!

The best ‘fit of the night was worn by miss doing-too-much! After hunting through every Marshall’s, Ross and TJ Maxx in the area, she finally had her ‘fit! This is what she had on:
-A fresh Baby Phat, shiny, cropped baseball jacket with rhinestone cat on the back
-Skull printed leggings
-Crusty black peep toe shoes
-A white wide patent leather belt
-Straw curls that she has set JUST for last night
-Huge white ‘mod’ looking plastic earrings
She was doing so much! And she was popping and locking and dropping it for anyone who would watch! She works hard for her money…*Can’t stop laughing as I’m typing this!*

But you see how mean I am! Karma is a very funny thing. Now I have been known to fall back in public places. If i’ve had too much to drink and I’m dancing too hard, oh say, on a couch at the 40/40 club or at Love or a table, I fall. LOL! So last night I did just that. I was watching the foolishness unfold on the dancefloor and something made me laugh so hard that I leaned back…and back, and back until I fell on my ass! It wasn’t a graceful fall, no. My feet slipped out from under me, arms flailing and then I just landed on my ass! Not only had a just done 50 million squats that morning, but I fell hard! And onto a concrete floor! Noone saw it except my girl and the ‘bouncer’, but I had just fallen inside the whackest palce on earth!

Seriously, if it hadn’t been for the ice cold Miller Lite served in plastic, yes plastic bottles, and the motivation to continue on my journey to get fit again, I would have left after 5 minutes. But I stayed for like an hour and a half. Good thing it was right up the street from my house in the sticks of the suburbs of Va! I will stick to my party spots in the good ol District of Columbia!


2 Responses to “Partying in NoVa…”

  1. Southern_Lady Says:

    Now that is funny! Snatch backs! lol. There’s a reason why you party in DC, but atleast you gave it a try!

  2. don beezy Says:

    LMAO what a nite!!

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