Confession Session part deux

I have to admit something. And it’s so hard to admit, but right now, this very moment, I feel so hurt, sad, and upset.

This year with men has just been way too much for me. All these mf emotions. What are they? Why do they exist within me? Why do certain men have such a strong affect on women; me??

I can’t call my friends because frankly, I don’t know how to explain it, and I think they wouldn’t know what to do, b/c well, I’m quite emotionless (or so I come across). When I get like this, I don’t know what to do but let it ride. *mind you, it’s only happened like 3 times in my whole life, but I’m really truly so confused*

My emotions are all over the place…let me explain…

I met this guy in June. We have been talking for quite some time; like we are best friends. (yeah, yeah I haven’t written about it b/c I didn’t want to jinx it) But true to form and what is the roller coaster, clusterf*ck that is my life, shyt just got real f’d.

He was supposed to come through on something really very important to both of us, and well, I’m at home, pissed as I don’t know what, without so much as an explanation….*surprise, surprise* I guess, but I’m mf hurt by it.

I seriously don’t even want an explanation. I want nothing. All I want is a mind eraser; not the drink, but like the ones from the movie Men In Black. I’m serious. I want to forget everything. And I will, trust. My heart, is seriously a cold stone. It’s going to stay that way for some time. I’m sick of all of the BS that comes with men and their mf ‘promises’

No, I’m not that dumb, naive type that believes everything, or anything for that matter, that a man says, but this is on some whole new level. I’m not going into detail, I just needed to get my thoughts out. I felt/feel crazy.

I’m going shopping tomorrow. I think I may have found my Birthday dress! *smile* I can’t wait to go try it on.

My heart is forever changed…into a stone…it will remain.

sadly,

*B*

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